“CATCH THE MOMENT”

I would like to begin by examining a key element that will shape our personal outcomes for 2009. In fact, it is likely to have more impact this year than any other year of your career. What is that element? It’s your “attitude”.

I found the definition of “attitude” to be very helpful as the beginning point of this “tune up” talk. The dictionary said, “Attitude is a “settled way” of thinking (settled) …a settled way of thinking and typically is reflected in a person’s behavior.

Let’s look first at attitude as a “settled way” of thinking. We can infer from this definition that attitude is not composed of a one time thought. Developing an attitude involves measuring the pros and cons of many experiences before settling into our own conclusion that something is either “a good thing” or “a bad thing”. Over time, these decisions link together to form a pattern of thinking. They “settle in” and become a part of us. They become our attitude and we shape our behavior to be consistent with it. My pattern of thinking is as unique to me as yours is to you. What is true about us as human beings is that we have attitudes about everything.

One could legitimately ask, “Does this mean I’m “stuck with” my attitude?”. No, in fact the contrary is true. Attitude can be changed. If you doubt this, just watch children when they are upset and fussy, and see how fast they can and will change their attitude with just a little encouragement. Be assured that attitude is something you have control over. Now, we all have negative thoughts…lots of them. So the question is, what’s the best way out of a pattern of thinking that is negative and self-defeating? The way out, simply put, is managing our thoughts, and sometimes is called managing your self-talk. This “attitude adjustment technique”, as I’m calling it, is following a negative conversation with an uplifting and positive one…all in your own head. We all know how “counter offers” work in real estate. Next time you feel barraged with negative, limiting thoughts…tell yourself…I have the perfect counter offer for that.

Even though I have given many talks on this topic, read articles and am familiar with these techniques I admit that I still have to be vigilant to “stay up” when things get tough. The loudest negative conversation that takes place in my head is when I have made a mistake. I am very hard on myself. I have to tell my own mind, “Maybe that mistake was for the best”…because many times it is.

When I am running late, take a wrong turn, or leave something at home that I said I would bring…I am hard on myself. Often, it turns out that arriving a little later was actually better for the other person. Many times I didn’t even need that item I left at home. The other day at the shopping center I found myself walking down the “wrong isle” to get to my car. My personal conversation turned to, “Oh shoot, now where did I park my car?” only to look up and see an old friend. That made me smile and say to myself, “You see, many mistakes do work out for the best”.

Unfortunately this is not always going to be true. Sometimes things do go wrong, and we have disappointments. This year, the real test will be how fast we “pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and…get back to work”. This will be the challenge for most of us in 2009. How fast can I adjust my attitude from negative to positive when things get tough? How fast?

I make this point about “attitude adjustment” because attitude directly affects our personal outlook. When our outlook is bleak and we feel “down” it’s common to turn our focus inward. We feel we have no control. Anger, blame, frustration and even depression blur our vision. From there it’s hard to see the path to winning.

Contrast this with when we are coming off a “win”, or when we’ve just received a compliment or kind words of encouragement. We feel “up”. We tend to look outward with enthusiasm, our vision is clear. We can see opportunities. 2009 will be about who sees and seizes opportunities. Who’s looking to “catch the moment”. I predict that due to the changing economic times you will need to be “light on your feet”. What “works” one week or one month may change and require a quick adjustment of your business plan. In this sea of change, one thing is guaranteed. Attitude will shape your behavior and determine how you respond to this year’s opportunities.

My husband was such a big part of my success in real estate. When I would come home discouraged he would remind me that the sun would come up tomorrow. When I had successes he encouraged celebrating, and was always affirming. I know I am so fortunate to have such encouragement and praise in my life.

Where do you find your praise, those important pats on the back that help to keep you going when the going gets tough? In 2009 more than ever, you need to be around positive people, focus on positive news, and celebrate your wins…even the small ones.

I would like to look at two quotes. The first is, “Selling is 51% the transfer of enthusiasm” (for our purposes let’s call it having a positive attitude), and the second quote, “Your attitude walks in the door with you”. I think the reality is having a positive attitude actually accounts for more than 51% of success, but for now let’s take the quote at face value. Let’s assume selling is 51% positive attitude with the remaining 49% made up of some combination of experience, market knowledge, focus and good planning, timing, reputation, and time spent on the job.

I can attest that when I started in real estate I had a lot of the first 51%…attitude… and very little of the remaining 49. My real estate career began in 1981 when interest rates were 18 – 19%, unemployment was at record highs (similar to now), sales were few and far between and buyers were hesitant to purchase even if they could qualify…and many did not. So you see, I have some idea of what you’re facing this year.

I was transitioning from the field of education to real estate and chose Menlo Park as my new home. When I arrived I knew two families in town. I interviewed with the top three real estate firms, and …this is the truth…two firms turned me down. The managers were polite and tried to “let me down gently” all the while inferring I would not succeed in “this tough market”. They said I had to be “connected” to be successful. I was asked if I planned to join any social clubs or had children who might attend local schools. In the years that followed, those same two managers and I shared many a good laugh. They said that was their biggest interviewing mistake and offered me a desk any time I wanted.

When I started I didn’t even know the names of streets. I recall being asked to go on an appraisal to see a home off Valparaiso. I said, “sure”, and promptly disappeared to the bathroom. There I was, hiding in a stall, reading my trusty map and memorizing, “go out the back driveway, turn right, dead end, go left then right after 2 blocks”.

What I didn’t have going for me was more than I had going for me. I did not have real estate experience, I did not have market knowledge, I was good at planning but didn’t feel confident about where to begin. My timing was terrible….times were tough. What I did have going for me was my honesty, my “can do” attitude, my willingness to learn and my perseverance. I took more floor time than any other agent and held many an open house. I penned personal invitations to neighbors and drove the streets viewing local comps. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to discover how little I knew.

The rest is history. In my first year…being as green as they come…I did as much business as many of the experienced, seasoned realtors. From there I continued, year after year, to hone my skills, build my reputation, guard my integrity and, of course, keep a positive outlook year after year.

Like the quote says, “Your attitude walks in the door with you.” No matter what the circumstances or market conditions, at least 51% of your success in 2009 will be determined by that “settled way” of thinking…the one thing you have control over…your attitude. May it be your best friend in 2009.

Wishing you all the best. Thank you.

Barbara Tyler
Keynote Address
Coldwell Banker Agents Northern California
January 26, 2009